Wildcat Scattering

I had never heard the term before and my funeral director husband whose family has been in the funeral industry for four generations hadn’t heard it either.  Anyway, it is the notion of scattering cremains in various places.  The Wall Street Journal had an article in yesterday’s edition regarding one woman’s journey through the grief of her husband http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703422904575039280799336638.html. 

With cremation on the rise, this is becoming more a trend.  Unfortunately, many surviving relatives do not request permission from the appropriate sources.  This has been a problem at sports stadiums and golf courses, but begs the question, “What happens to the makeshift graveyards when the there is re-construction?”

 There is protocol for handling cremains in the oceans and many forests will grant permission.  We stress this when families tell us they are scattering the cremains but the other unfortunate fact is that with scattering, the death certificate does not state the location of the remains of your Loved One.  Generations from now, no one will know what really happened to Great-grandma’s remains.  Maybe it doesn’t matter but I personally still enjoy the gravesites of our founding fathers and mothers and reflecting on the lives that are summarized in their epitaphs.

The Mass Graves of Haiti and WTC

The people of Haiti are suffering and there is no solace for those whose Loved Ones are unaccounted for in their homeland. Even worse is that mass graves are being used to bury the bodies of the many people who died in the tragedy of the recent earthquake.

The same could be said for those whose Loved Ones perished in the 9/11 attacks. Families (http://www.wtcfamiliesforproperburial.com/) are still visiting the landfill where the debris from the World Trade Center was transferred. They know their Loved Ones’ remains are buried with the debris but there is little comfort in their visits to this landfill where they are escorted with scrutiny. What an uncommon gravesite!

Many discount the benefits of a funeral and a cemetery and the closure in having a body present. For those in Haiti and at the WTC, they would never say, “Just throw my body/cremains in the ditch”, “Don’t fuss over me when I die” or “Don’t let anyone see me in a casket.” When you have a chance to place the loss of a Loved One within the context of an event like a funeral or cemetery, remember those who never had a chance to say goodbye.